About Smoking?

I'm a smoker (of tobacco)! There, I said it.  It's not something I'm proud of , but I have to say that it's not something I'm ashamed of either.

In recent years smoking has become something that I do covertly.  I hide because I can't take the looks of non-smokers as I puff away, so I retreat to an outside smoking area so as to avoid those looks that seem to say "why are you trying to kill me with your filthy smoking habit" or " why don't you quit that filthy habit so you'll live longer and not cost me higher insurance rates when you have to go to the hospital with some terrible lung disease that your sure to get because your a filthy smoker".

One of the themes in all this is that apparently I am filthy.  Being filthy used to cost a dollar a pack, but the non-filthy people decided that I was so filthy they should charge me six dollars a pack now.  I suppose it's to clean me up somehow by getting me to quit smoking so I can start calling other people filthy smokers. Then I wouldn't be filthy any more, I would just be opinionated and think I can call people I don't know filthy whores because they smoke cigarettes.

I don't want all you non-smoking, apparently non-filthy, people going shit bird crazy on me over the contents of this post, after all, I already pay to much to smoke, have higher insurance rates, am scrutinized and sequestered to some out of the way no man's land (where all the filthy people go) so as not to frighten or pollute non-smokers with my second hand smoke, and I'm compared to uncaring, rude, Nazi like people who are probably responsible for the end of the world (even though the end hasn't happened yet, but trust me, when it does happen it will be those filthy smoker's fault).

When you think about all that it's no wonder people think I'm filthy, I'm actually feeling kind of dirty myself right now.  I'm awfully glad all you non smokers out there care enough to call me names and look down on me and other filthy smokers.  After all everyone needs checks and balances in their lives and I'm glad there are people that volunteer to be checks and balances for other peoples lives because nobody is perfect, I guess.  Now that I'm all stressed, I'm going out to the designated smoking area (actually its the dumpster out back, down the path and behind the designated sugar free area, you will see the Smokers' Outpost Cigarette Receptacle - Black - Ash & Trash there) smoke and visit with the rats that hang around there. I've had the opportunity to give them names over the years, one is named Camel, one Winston, and another I call Pall Mall.

In all seriousness, I am aware of the health hazards involved with smoking and I am aware that it is a serious issue with our kids.  I do not mean to make light of this filthy, addictive behavior that is responsible for much illness and death around the world.  With that being said I feel guilty about writing this post and have seriously considered deleting it and starting over.  As is obvious I did not do that, I went and had a smoke and thought about it and changed my mind.  Guilt is now built in to smoking so it doesn't have quite the impact it used to, sorry...  I'll tell you what, come outside and try to find me when I'm on a smoke break and we will talk about it, just follow the second hand smoke cloud or look for Winston, he likes the designated no junk food area!   I think he's on a health kick lately, I haven't told him about the designated 'no rodent' area...

About Things To Remember When Your Older?

So here's my list of things you should do or remember as you get older. That's assuming that you can remember things as you get older, in case you can't (see number 1):

1. Take good notes!!! They may be fun to read later in your life or act as good reminder when you need to remember your name.

2. You may think your thirty when your sixty but, believe me, your body knows the difference between reality and wishful thinking.

3. No definitely means no unless your the one saying it, then the translation is evidently open to interpretation.

4. When you realize that everyone has started calling you 'sir' or 'folks' it means you either look as old as you are or they think you can tip well!   Either way it's not a good sign.

5. Just because you can bend over does not mean you can get back up (this may or may not be related to number 6 below).

6. Man boobs are real.

7. All those great actors your age that look like they are in the best shape of their lives and that seem to have the body of a twenty year old, have enough money to buy the body of a twenty year old. You will not look like them any more then you looked like them when you were, well, a twenty year old.

8. Money does not buy happiness, it just makes being unhappy more fun.

9. Being 'comfortable in your own skin ' not only applies when your being an arrogant asshole at twenty years old, it can also be applied to your actual asshole on a good day, when your seventy years old.

10. If you do not consider yourself a spiritual person when your young it's OK.  You will be a spiritual person when your old, because by then you will have tried all the other options and none of them will have worked. With any luck you get smarter as you get older.

And remember, it's not how many words you write, it's what you say when you write them.