About Microchips?

All right, I want everyone reading this to suspend your 1984, the government is spying on us (which they are, they just call it 'keeping us safe' or 'closed circuit television'), Orwellian thought process for a minute.

Ok, are you clear headed and paranoid free? Then consider this: Why don't we microchip our kids?

Now, before you wish the fires of hell upon me let's discuss this. We microchip our pets! If they get lost we can be notified in seconds, go to the local animal shelter and pick them up and bring them home to be reunited with your eight year old son, or daughter. I'm not even going to suggest a local shelter for our kids, I admit that might be to much, (notice I said 'might' be to much), and besides, what would you call it?

So, if we micro-chipped our kids and they got lost when they were with drunk Uncle Fred at the local fair because they walked away from him to prove they were independent eight year olds, when they were eventually found by a well wishing Girl Scout troop leader and taken to the security booth, all the security professional would have to do is scan the child with a grocery store type scanner and find the child's name, address, phone number and date of birth (you could add the child's date-of-birth in case the security professional tried to hold an adult conversation with the child. The security professional wouldn't have to embarrass themselves when they finally determined the child was only eight). Once this information came up on the security computer screen they could call the child's parents and have them come and pick them up.

The parents could even put a note on the microchip saying drunk 'Uncle Fred also has a microchip' so when Uncle Fred was found later that night, passed out by the hoop toss at the carnival, they could confirm his identity as well and have someone besides the police come and pick him up. This would save valuable time for the police who could then concentrate on finding the people responsible for selling counterfeit microchip scanners which, when used by security professionals, identified everyone they scanned as the manager of the local grocery store (whom was older than eight years of age).

Now, I admit I may have gone to far with this scenario (notice I said 'may' have gone to far). In reality we could chip our kids with all the information necessary to keep them alive in a medical emergency, really find them when they were lost, have their dental records on the chip and even have the teacher download their grades to the chip so when they were fourteen and got a D in math you would know so you could intervene and they could graduate with their class. Then the little darling could go on to college and become an (in-debt up to his eye balls with student loans) microchip scanner manufacturer, or maybe a grocery store manager.

I promise a more serious discussion about this subject at a later time, I'm busy looking for my dog right now, no microchip...